By Leo Babauta

In this webinar, I addressed the problem of how our insecurities interfere with socializing and meeting new people, and I answered some great questions.

I’ve broken this webinar recording into two parts:

  1. Part I – My Talk: Dealing with Insecurities in Socializing. (See notes)
  2. Part II – Questions & Answers: I answered questions about overcoming insecurity, how to begin socializing regularly, overcoming personal judgements, bringing up interesting things about ourselves without bragging, and more!

Part I: Leo’s Talk (with notes)

You can download this video here, or download just the audio. Or watch below.

Here are the notes from my talk (video is below the notes):

Dealing with Insecurities in Socializing:

Insecurities and feelings of inadequacy are some of the biggest problems we face when meeting new people. This causes us to stay in our comfort zone and refrain from trying new things. This can come up at any point in the relationship.

How did we become insecure?

How do we deal with these insecurities?

  1. Allow the insecurities to come up and not hold you back. Insecurities will still come up, even in the most confident of people, but we move forward anyway. Not taking action and shying away from the insecurities causes us to have difficulties. If we can push through the insecurities, it’s not so bad.
  2. Recognize our self-talk. You may not realize the voice is causing certain emotions in you. The first step is just to hear it. Notice it is there. What is the inner dialogue in you saying? Pay attention to your inner voice an notice feelings of inadequacy. Journal and write down those thoughts without a filter.
  3. Pay attention to the effects it has on you. What do these feelings do to yourself-image?
  4. Replace those with more loving thoughts. Just do it. Practice the Buddhist metta (loving-kindness) meditation. Wish for an end to your own suffering.
  5. The Gratitude Habit. Be grateful for where you are right here and now. The Comparison Habit is an unhelpful mental habit of comparing ourselves to others, an ideal, and social media. These inferiority and superiority comparisons are not helpful. There is always something that we can be grateful for right exactly as I am right now. This is the antidote to the comparison habit.

Part II: Questions and Answers

You can download this video here, or download just the audio. Or watch below.

Questions answered in this video: