In this lesson, we will focus on finding a new alternative to replace our old patterns.
So far we have been undoing our old patterns. We are learning to catch these patterns as often and as early as we can so we can work with the uncertainty that we feel inside of us. That is amazing! We have built these patterns over years and years so they will not change overnight.
How do we learn to undo them? We need to practice.
- stay with them
- not follow them
- touch into the uncertainty
Then what? How do we build a new pattern? After unraveling the old pattern, we can start to build something else. We have already started a new alternative:
- Noticing. Notice the urge to run. Notice the uncertainty and pausing. Turning, facing our uncertainty, and feeling it in our bodies is already a new alternative. We are already down the path of doing something different and being able to choose a different pattern than what we had before.
- Check in with our intentions. Why do we have this task in front of us in the first place? Is it on our “to-do list” to check off or are you doing it to help or serve someone else? This act of helping is helping someone else meet their mission in the world which may help meet your mission in the world. Or maybe you are doing it to put food on the table and make the lives of the people around you better in some way. Connecting with intention of noticing helping others helps us get out of the self-contained, self-focused mode. We begin to think about how we want to serve others. We can suffer through our own discomfort to help other people. We do this as parents, as friends, as a child, or spouse. We learn to act despite the uncertainty or amidst the uncertainty. There can be an intention to help others and an intention to care for ourselves.
- Work on this task and embrace it. Immerse yourself in the uncertainty an discomfort. Say, “this is where I want to be”. There can be some joy in the uncertainty. There can be smiling, gratitude, and a sense of play as you work through the uncertainty an discomfort. We can be grateful in the midst of uncertainty and discomfort. Know that you can be happy to be where you are, even if you are uncomfortable.
There are a range of alternatives we can use:
- do not run
- notice the uncertainty and discomfort
- stay with it and send it love
- work in the uncertainty
- tap into our intentions to help others or ourselves
- get into it with a sense of openness, curiosity, and play, maybe even joy
- be grateful for this experience and smile
We have many alternatives we can use that may change moment by moment. I encourage you to explore a variety of these alternatives. Maybe you can even come up with one of your own. What is a new way of working in this task that is bringing up uncertainty and discomfort in you? What else can you do other than your old pattern? Challenge yourself to try different things, play around with these possibilities, and to be open to exploring a new way of being with these tasks.
Work with these in a new way now that you know you do not have to run.
Share what you are experiencing on Slack!