In this webinar, I start with a short meditation on the anxieties and frustrations we might be feeling, then talk about the reasons we hold onto things.

Here’s the outline of my talk:

I. Start: Let’s pause & notice what we’re holding onto right now. Breathe in, relax, smile, allow the anxiety to loosen up. Now let’s be here right now, and accept this moment for how wonderful it is.

II. Avoidance: Not liking to focus so much on our thinking — this is avoidance. Why do we avoid focusing on our thinking? It’s uncomfortable.

III. Why we hold on:
– we form a fantasy
– we want what we want
– it makes us feel safe to have a fantasy, feel like we can control things
– we have fear, don’t trust that things will work out if we let go of control
– instead: we can trust in the moment, trust that things will be OK

IV. Mindful practices:

1. Awareness: Notice & label (feeling & then fantasy)

2. Curiosity:
– Stay with the feeling
– Stay some more
– Explore with curiosity
– Become intimate with it

3. Opening up:
– Relax around it
– Create an openness

4. Compassion:
– Give yourself compassion – wish yourself happiness

5. Get big & watch the clouds:
– Notice the thought that you are anxious about
– Get bigger and see that this thought is small
– Your mind is bigger than this thought
– You can let it go away, float away like a balloon, & it won’t matter
– See the thought like a cloud, floating away, without attachment

7. Embracing:
– Practice seeing what’s in front of you, allowing it, embracing it, appreciating it
– See the goodness
– Practice trust in the moment

8. Freedom:
– Holding on limits us, makes us anxious — allowing a wider range of possibilities gives us flexibility & freedom, and more peace & trust
– Practice: See the limited range, then see the wider range. Open up.

V. Practice during the day: Notice, examine, relax & open, embrace, trust

VI. Practice: This is a set of skills, & it takes practice

Webinar Recording

You can watch the webinar above, or download the video or just the audio to your device.