In this lesson, we will be seeing our pain.
What are the effects on our lives of telling negative stories to ourselves about ourselves? It can be hard to see at times and it can be painful. If we think of ourselves as ugly, unworthy of love, or stupid, we stop to realize how much pain we are creating for ourselves.
- How do you see yourself?
- How does that make you feel?
- Do I think that I am beautiful?
- Do I think I am intelligent?
- Do I think I am worthy of incredible love?
- Do I think I am competent and good at achieving?
- Do I think I am mindful?
- Am I healthy?
- Do I think I am a great husband/wife, father/mother, friend, brother/sister etc?
- Do I think I am loving, patient, kind, and thoughtful?
If there are any “no’s” to these questions, then give yourself the reverse.
- If I don’t think I am beautiful, do I think I am ugly in some way?
- What are the things about myself that I don’t like?
- What are the things about myself that I don’t trust?
- What are the things about myself that make me feel really bad?
As you start to reflect on these things, you will see how it hurts you. Are you having a difficult time with work, relationships, health, habits, or finances? All of these things might stem from how you see yourself.
For example, if you think you are not a good wife, it may cause insecurity, fear, or jealousy. If you don’t think you are good looking, you may hide from others. If you don’t think you are interesting or smart, you may also hide from others and miss opportunities, experience loneliness, or lack of connection. Anxiety or stress is a pain caused by not feeling good enough. Procrastinating is because you do not feel good enough because of the uncertainty, fear of failure, and not feeling good enough about your ability to complete the task. Financial trouble can be because you are not taking the actions you need to take to get your finances in order. Same thing with your health. If you procrastinate on your health, you may feel like you are not good enough to exercise, eat a healthy diet, and stick to it. There are so many ways in which we feel as though we are not good enough.
When it comes to creating a new project, put our writing into the world or whatever you are procrastinating on. The pain comes from the stories we tell ourselves about how we think we are not good enough.
Reflect on this. Journal about it. Make a list and share it in Slack. Give it some thought so you can develop an awareness around what your stories are and the effects they are having on your life. Once we see this pain, we can start to work with it.