3. Webinar Recording: Seeing the Patterns That Sabotage Self-Discipline

In this webinar from a previous challenge, we talk about the patterns that get in the way of our self-discipline efforts, and how to deal with them.

I’ve broken this webinar recording into two parts:

1. Part I – My Talk: I share one of the most important things we can do to improve our self-discipline efforts, some of the most common patterns, and a method for shifting these patterns. (See notes)
2. Part II – Questions & Answers: I answered some amazing questions from participants, a must-watch.

Part I: Leo’s Talk (with notes)

Here are the notes from my talk (video is below the notes):

The Problem

We set something for ourselves to do, perhaps meditating or writing every day … and then something inevitably gets in the way and we get derailed. Then we feel bad about it, and it reinforces a negative image about ourselves that we’re not disciplined, that we’re lazy or not good enough.

Sometimes we get derailed by something that is unavoidable and out of our control — getting sick, having an unexpected crisis, etc. But most often we get derailed by one of our own patterns, which I’ll get to in a moment.

Either way, we judge ourselves, because we’re not disciplined. In this way, self-discipline becomes yet another way to judge ourselves, to beat ourselves up, to see how inadequate we are. This is harmful, not helpful!

It’s much more helpful to use self-discipline as a wholesome intention, an act of loving ourselves and others. And to use it as a guide, to show us when patterns are coming up that we might be able to work with. And finally, to use it as an opportunity to practice, as well as to do some good in the world.

The Patterns

• Avoidance
• Distraction for comfort
• Overwhelmed & shutting down
• Rationalizing why it’s OK to do busywork
• Reducing the importance of the task (forgetting your bigger Why)
• Self-judgment, feeling guilty
• Perfectionism – especially not doing something because conditions are not perfect

What We Can Do

So what can we do about these patterns? We can beat ourselves up and judge ourselves, of course!

Just kidding. We can work with the patterns that we see:

• Set something to be disciplined about — meditating or writing or doing yoga every day, for example
• Notice what comes up — what do you do that pulls you away from discipline?
• Notice the effects it has — it has some clear echoes in the rest of your life, if you pay attention
• Ask yourself if you want to use this info to shift? Ask what would be the opposite of this pattern?
• Try the opposite, and hold the pose for a little longer than you’re comfortable doing – for example, if you pattern is avoidance, turn towards the discomfort and be with it instead, for as long as you’re able
• Keep practicing this daily, and you’ll shift the pattern
• Use your small teams & the challenge channel to hold you in the discomfort

Part II: Questions & Answers

In this 2nd part of the webinar, I answered some great questions from those who attended — please watch!