In this webinar, we talk about the problems that come up with our goals, resolutions and intentions for the New Year, and key ideas for addrssing those. I also answered some great questions from members.
I’ve broken this webinar recording into two parts:
- Part I – My Talk: About the problems of setting goals for the new year, and key ideas for addressing those problems. (See notes)
- Part II – Questions & Answers: I answered some amazing questions from participants, a must-watch.
Part I: Leo’s Talk (with notes)
Watch the video above of Part 1.
We’re all gung-ho when it comes to setting goals and resolutions around New Year, but they rarely last. Motivation fizzles after a couple weeks when things get difficult, uncomfortable, or de-prioritized.
The problems are that:
- We lose focus and energy after a couple weeks (or a month)
- We aren’t really clear on how we’re going to get it done, on top of all the other things we’re already doing (or not doing)
- There’s no structure to get us back into things when we inevitably get off track, so things tend to fall off and then stay off
- We’re not really motivated from a deeper place, because we don’t have any deeper reasons
- We give ourselves too many things to do, or try to make too many changes at once — and so things don’t stick
- We beat ourselves up when we fall off track, which only makes it less likely that we’ll actually get back on track. Judging ourselves and being harsh are obstacles, not useful tools.
With those problems in mind, let’s talk about some key ideas for this time of setting intentions.
Key Ideas for Setting Intentions
- Goals vs. intentions: Goals are about an outcome that you want to achieve — which isn’t a problem, except that we get attached to the outcome and also not very focused on the process. Intentions are similar, but focused on the process — it’s about how you want to show up each day. So when you don’t get the outcome, you aren’t as disappointed or frustrated, you don’t beat yourself up — you just try to show up according to your attentions, going forward.
- Structure: We need to create reminders, daily reviews, weekly check-ins, and monthly (and annual) reviews so that we are constantly coming back to our intentions when we get off track. With accountability (like a Sea Change small team) for helping us to do the reviews and check-ins. With structure, intentions become much more likely to be carried out.
- Habit or time block: If you want to journal every day, when will it happen? Tie it to something already in your life so that it’s more likely to actually happen. What will you do less of so that you’ll have room? You might consider time blocking the new habit so that you carve out the space — then hold that space sacred.
- Deeper Why: Speaking of holding that space sacred — what will you do when you get busy? Or things get difficult? This is when we tend to put off our intentions — because when push comes to shove, they’re not that important to us. Which is why I suggest only setting a few key intentions that are deeply meaningful to you. Think about why you want them — are they a way to love and care for yourself? For others? Is it a way to serve others or serve the world with your love? For example … if you want to learn Spanish because it would be cool — you aren’t likely to stick to it. But if it would allow you to speak to your Spanish-speaking grandmother, or serve Spanish speaking children who need help … that might feel more meaningful. What is the meaning behind the intentions you’re setting.
- One Focus at a Time: If you have 6-8 intentions (for example) … trying to do them all at once is going to be difficult. This is where a lot of people get tripped up. Instead, what if you just did one a month? You’d be much more likely to actually do them in the coming year.
- Self-kindness: One of the main rules you might consider through all of this … is being kind to yourself, no matter what. If you get off track — be kind to yourself about it. If you fail, be kind. If you do it but it’s not what you expected, be kind. Always be kind.
If you adopt some of these key ideas, I believe you’ll have a much better chance at holding your intentions for next year.
Part II: Questions & Answers
In this 2nd part of the webinar, I answered some great questions from those who attended, including:

Questions:
- I have trouble with anger — what practices help me to control my anger?
- What do you think about focusing one big thing a year such as “the year of learning Spanish� I think I’m a slow learner because a month is not close enough to being long enough for me to build a habit
- There is a lot about setting goals (SMART goals, etc.) what are some examples of intentions that show how they are different than goals?

- Totally behind on the review–got stuck because I felt like there wasn’t much to say about my year. I was very focused on my fitness and it seemed like not much else was done. That’s ok though, right?

- What about starting small and building on small habits with bigger ones? Is it advisable to do that at the same time that you start a new intention each month?